Ten Stages of a Parrot Head

 

1. Jimmy Who?

        Who the hell is Buffett? Oh, that guy who sang (choose one):

        a.   Margaritaville

        b.   Cheeseburger in Paradise

        c.   Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw.

              (Spells Buffett with one “t”.)

 

   2. Oh, it’s with two “t’s”!

       Buys “Songs You Know by Heart” because he heard “that one song” at a party. Starts             hearing all about the wild concerts and openly declares to the world that he/she is a             Parrot Head. Goes out and buys that Hawaiian shirt they wanted all their life, or at                 least since last week.

 

   3. Look at me, I’m a Parrot Head

       Goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert and is amazed by all things Parrot Head. Loved the             show but can’t remember any of it through the alcoholic haze.

 

   4. One Particular Parrot

       Decides they should buy a few more albums so that the old-timers will stop laughing           at them when Jimmy plays “One Particular Harbor” and he/she says, “that’s a great             song, I’ve never heard it.”

 

    5. Domino College

        Buys the boxed set so they don’t have to buy all the old albums. Still gets laughed at              or ignored because they’ve never heard “Migration” and “Cowboy.” The good news is              she/he knows “Fins” well enough to move his/her hands the right way at the

        concert.

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   6. Buffett is God

       Starts collecting the albums, buys a couple more Hawaiian shirts, maybe even a                   coconut bra. Has two concert tees, and a subscription to the Coconut Telegraph.                     Suddenly has a burning need to find out all that is Buffett. Considers Buffett to be                 GOD, though they've never heard the song “God's Own Drunk”. Actually believes                     Buffett is a beach bum.

       NOTE: Some people never get past this stage...

 

   7. Say it Ain’t So, Jimmy

       Is reading everything there is on Buffett and is getting a little disillusioned. They are             closing their ears and screaming “say it ain’t so” when people criticize their “hero”. No         one stays at this stage for very long They either punt and return to Stage 6 or move to         Stage 8.

 

   8. Screw Buffett...

       Accuse Buffett of being a heretic. Accuse him of selling out. And all the concerts                   sound the same. Screw Buffett. This is also a dead-end stage for many fans. Cancel             subscription to Coconut Telegraph, complains about concerts and new records and               every other money-grubbing venture Mr. Margaritaville is wrapped up in. Hates it                   when his/her non-Parrot Head friends label him/her a Parrot Head.

 

    9. My name is __________ and I listen to Buffett music

        Comes to the realization that Buffett is human, and deals with it, with the help of                    other Buffett fans or some internal strength. Understands the myth, and to some                  degree, the man who created it and finds compromise somewhere between stage 6              and stage 8. Can’t buy any more albums because they have them all, already. Enjoys            the music for what it represents, which is why they bought it in the first place and                ignore all the other bullshit as best as possible, without forsaking their own moral                standards.

 

  10. If you reach stage nine and still continuously listen to Buffett and enjoy the concerts            and the lifestyle, you, my friend, are a Parrot Head.